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Secureflies

Secure Edit

Secure is a Human Paladin on the server Suramar. He is known by just about everyone (Except to the Horde, who only know him as a bringer of pain and endless torment. And an occasional /moo.) as the greatest healer ever devised by man. His average healing-per-second (HPS) is well over 9,000. His largest critical Holy Light was 1,149,948 on April 1st, 2008. His largest Flash of Light crit was 502,439 the same day. He is often seen in his tier-2 Judgement Crown for the simple fact that it's a glorious looking headpiece. All those addressing Secure must either prefix the message with "Mr," "Master," or "My Lord," or suffix it with "Sir," "The Untouchable," or "k?"

History of a ChampionEdit

You may wonder where Secure came from, what he's doing now and where he's going. It is currently known that Secure, outside of WoW, is generally known as "Xbob42." His previous name was in fact "Xbob" on Suramar, but due to poor Game-Master skills, he was forced to change his name. The GM has not been seen since, and his family is extremely worried. Secure is currently looting Shaman gear in Zul'Aman to protest against their class. His plans are apparently to single-handedly overthrow the Suramar server and take throne as Grand Champion, but this is only hearsay from his lesser servants. More as it is uncovered.

LikesEdit

Red meat, cold hard cash and Gushers™ Fruit Snacks.

DislikesEdit

You, quite likely.

Can I message you, Secure?Edit

Sure! But you'll need to schedule an appointment. I currently have openings on the third Tuesday of October, 2012. I charge $49.99 a minute and accept cash only. (See above.)

Xbob42 07:44, 14 April 2008 (UTC)

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